Dating in Thailand – Everything You Need to Know

It’s no secret that a lot of foreign men come to Thailand to date Thai women. Based on that some people assume the dating scene here must be all foreign men dating younger Thai women (often with financial transactions involved. To be sure there is some of that, but the dating and relationship scene is Thailand is as varied and vibrant as you’ll find anywhere in the world.

Keep reading to learn all about sex, love, and relationships in Thailand, plus where to meet potential mates, common pitfalls, cultural issues, and more.

Foreign men dating Thai women

In relationships in Thailand where at least one of the partners is a foreigner, by far the most common dynamic is a foreign man dating a Thai woman. That doesn’t mean this is a one-size-fits-all situation though. These relationships span a spectrum of age, class, education and power dynamics. They also range from one-night stands to lifelong marriages, and covering everything in between.

Dating other foreigners

It’s also really common for foreigners to date each other in Thailand, but even this category is much broader than most people would expect. Thailand is an incredibly diverse and dynamic country with expats and long-term travelers from all over the world, especially Western and Asian countries. It happens all the time that they meet, hook up, date, and often, marry.

Dating for women

Lots of foreign women in Thailand are looking for partners and as mentioned above, plenty of them meet and get involved with other foreigners. There are also plenty of foreign women in relationships of all kinds with Thai men, though admittedly it probably only happens once for every 100 relationships with the sexes reversed.

It’s almost become a cliche that white Western women complain about the dating scene here, and it can indeed be pretty difficult for a lot of them. There’s no real delicate way to say this, but generally, those who are more attractive have a lot less trouble than the ones who are less so. Fairly or not, men who might not be able to find an attractive partner in their home country are able to do so here, so it sort of puts things out of alignment.

Same-sex dating in Thailand

Thailand has a pretty vibrant gay scene — among Thais in bigger cities, and for foreign LGBTQ travelers in many destinations. Often this overlaps, and gay male Thai-foreigner relationships are incredibly common. Really the only super rare relationship model here is Thai-foreigner lesbian couples. It probably happens, but polling a few friends recently, nobody had ever seen it.

Where to meet potential partners

Like anywhere else in the world, you can meet a potential partner pretty much anywhere, but online and on dating apps is incredibly common these days. We have a whole section below on the best dating apps and websites for Thailand.

If you’re somewhat forward and you have some game, it’s fairly acceptable to approach people in public and ask for a phone number (or more likely, Line ID or Instagram). This could be someone in a mall, your barista, a bar or nightclub, at the beach, or pretty much anywhere.

You need to do this in a non-creepy and non-threatening way. Like with anything in Thailand, a smile goes a long way. Lots of long-term relationships and short-term fun times have begun this way. It’s also not unheard of for women to be the ones to approach, especially toward good-looking Western guys.

Thailand dating apps and websites

There are two legacy dating websites that still get plenty of users and traffic. These are Thai Friendly and Thai Cupid. Thai Friendly is very limited in functionality on the free plan, and Thai Cupid you can only really use if you upgrade. Both are free for women to use — only men have to pay to upgrade. Both also have apps for Android and iPhone.

The newer swipe dating apps mentioned below have taken much of the wind out of the sails of those websites, but there are still plenty of Thai women using them. We would say that the websites mentioned above are better for older men looking for serious relationships. The constant swipe right and swipe left of the apps isn’t for everybody, and actually being able to browse profiles and write more about yourself works better for a lot of people.

If ladyboys (Thai transgender women) are your jam, use Thai Friendly where you can filter specifically for them.

The dating apps Tinder and Bumble have taken over much of the online dating scene in Thailand. If you’re here and you’re single, these are the two to use. Bumble is popular in Bangkok but used throughout the country. Tinder is ubiquitous everywhere.

Pro tip: On upgraded plans on Tinder and Bumble you can set a location even if you aren’t currently there, so if you’re not in Thailand yet you can still browse by city and get to swiping. On both Thai Cupid and Thai Friendly, your current location doesn’t matter and you can browse in any part of Thailand from any location in the world.

Casual vs serious relationships

More often than not, Thai women are looking for serious relationships. Society here expects them to be fairly conservative, and it can be difficult for them to settle down if they haven’t found a partner by 30 or so.

Lots of women here are also happy to have a casual relationship, a one-night stand, or a quick fling. Usually they can only do this in bigger cities where there is more anonymity, so avoid small cities and rural areas if this is what you’re after. You should be upfront about it if you’re looking for this, and don’t be surprised if she catches feelings anyway. Don’t be surprised if you do either. That’s kind of how it goes sometimes, here or anywhere else in the world.

Sex workers

The elephant in the room in this whole conversation is sex work and prostitution. While technically illegal, it’s widespread in Thailand, and it creeps into the dating scene in all sorts of ways. Pretty much anywhere a man might be looking for a woman, he might also find sex workers.

This or course includes all the different red light bar types but also goes for nightclubs and regular bars as well. Dating apps and websites also have some professionals working on them. Just don’t assume every woman you meet here is a sex worker because it’s definitely not true, and if you do think that you’ll drive off every normal woman (ironically, confirming your incorrect belief in your mind).

A lot of foreign men end up dating and even marrying women they met in one form of sex work or another. This is very often a bad idea, but there are success stories too.

Some people (We’re looking at you, bitter old expats) insist all relationships are transactional. There is a lot of gray area here in dating, and plenty of women are dating men who they’d otherwise ignore if he weren’t providing for her in some ways. That’s probably true pretty often anywhere in the world.

But if you think that’s every relationship here, you need a reality check. There are lots of Thai women dating foreign men and, cliche as it sounds, loving them for who they are. A lot of middle-class and wealthy Thai women push back on the stereotypes people hold of them by insisting they pay their own way, on dates, or even throughout a relationship. There are also lots of short-term relationships where the woman is looking for little more than a bit of fun.

Like with everything else, things are complex and people have all sorts of motives and values. You don’t want to be the bitter old guy who thinks all women are the same. You also don’t want to be the naive newcomer who gets taken for a ride. Keep your head and your wits about you when dating in Thailand (or anywhere in the world, really).

About Thai women

Alright, so there have already been a fair amount of stereotypes so far in this post, and fair warning, more are coming. Stereotypes usually have some truth behind them, but they are by no means universal. So take this as more guidance, not hard and fast rules. Even rules have exceptions, and Thailand is a diverse place with different regional, religious, class, educational, and cultural differences. Treat people as individuals, but keep some of these things in mind.

One of the biggest differences between Thai women and many Western women is their deep commitment to their families. This is generally true across all the divides mentioned above. Culturally, it is expected that the children, and sometimes especially the daughters will take care of elder parents and grandparents.

It’s sometimes said that when you marry a Thai woman, you marry her whole family. This is often true, and if those families are relatively poor it will usually be expected that a daughter who marries a foreigner will contribute more financially. This rubs a lot of foreigners in a bad way, and that’s compounded by the fact that many are duped into marriages where financial considerations masquerade as love. But that’s definitely not always the case; a woman can offer a man true love and commitment, but still also expect him to help her take care of her family.

Dating middle-class and wealthy Thai women

The above generally applies much less when it comes to women from financially better-off families. Parents who don’t need financial support from their children in Thailand don’t generally expect it or ask for it. It’s not unheard of for Thai women to date foreign men who earn less than they do.

Sin sod – Marriage dowries

Thailand has a tradition of men paying the families of women a dowry to marry their daughter, a payment known as sin sod. This can be given as cash, gold, land, or (probably not so often anymore), animals. These days there are no rules and ever family and situation is different.

Sin sod now is often just for show, and all or part of it is given back to the newlywed couple. It depends on the couple, and the financial situation of the man, of the family, and much more.

Differences in preference between Thai and foreign men

Thailand has beauty standards that are fairly different from what we have in the West. Women are seen as most desirable when they’re fair-skinned, taller, and have eye, nose, and jawline shapes more typical of caucasian or Chinese women, among others. Thailand though has A LOT of women who are short, darker skinned, have button noses… attributes not really seen as desirable here but which are very appealing to most Western men.

That’s not to say Thai men don’t find some of these women attractive. Most of them marry Thai men, and there is at least some degree of attractiveness being universal. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, and while Thai men might prefer the conventional standards, they’re not blind to sexiness or beauty either.

So while Thai people might not call an unconventionally attractive woman suay (สวย) – beautiful, they might use another word like narak (น่ารัก) – cute, or mee sanae (มีเสน่ห์) – charming or appealing.

Class differences in Thailand

Thailand also has a fairly rigid class structure and men here don’t tend to date women (at least not as a primary partner) from lower educational or socio-economic positions than their own.

The fact that there are millions of Thai women from poorer families, without high levels of education, lacking in conventional attractiveness but who do appeal to foreign men’s beauty standards goes a long way toward explaining why there seem to be so many attractive women here dating foreign men, often who wouldn’t seem to have much in the way of dating prospects back in their home country.

Cheating and infidelity in Thailand

Cheating is very common in many Thai relationships. This has always been the case for men; Thailand has a culture of men having mistresses called mia noi which translates as small wife. It’s hard to say if women have always cheated back, or if it’s a more modern reaction to the assumption that men will cheat anyway.

Most foreigners who have spent a lot of time here have seen many other men get cheated on, or have been cheated on themselves. This is anecdotal but it does seem that Thai women cheat on foreign men at somewhat high rates.

Don’t take this to mean that your partner will definitely cheat on you, but keep some of this in mind. We’d guess there are a number of reasons why this is:

• Many foreigners have little security in Thailand and might up and leave at any time due to situations with visas, jobs, family issues back home, burnout, etc.
• Thai women over 30 are often seen as past their prime and there is great pressure on them to settle down before that time. Some may be on the lookout for a better partner since their time is more limited than a man’s.
• Thai culture tends to value non-confrontation and saving face over telling hard truths, and lying is often more acceptable than causing a scene.
• A lot of foreigners who come to Thailand are pretty weird. Many are alcoholics or just general misfits. Lots of them don’t fit in well in Thai culture, and many don’t try. This inevitably leads to clashes that sour the relationship.
• It’s obviously not only Thai men who cheat on women. Lots of foreigners come here and get sex crazed and also cheat on their partners.

There are lots of really wonderful Thai women and we aren’t trying to put you off. People cheat on each other all over the world and there is no magic bullet to creating stable and healthy relationships. Learning as much as you can about the Thai language and culture, and being flexible and understanding where things differ from your own culture will greatly increase your chance of finding a healthy and successful relationship here.

Different but same

Thailand has a unique culture and many aspects of dating and relationships here are unlike anywhere else. But things are also pretty universal, and a lot of advice for success here is fairly universal. Try to be a good partner, reciprocate, and give small gifts (Thai women love food, bring them food and they will love you).

Most of all, try to adapt to the culture, learn some Thai language, go with the flow, and accept that your Western way of doing things is not always how things are done here, and are also not necessarily the right way to do things. Get that part right and finding whatever you’re looking for here will be much easier.